She did it for the Health of it.....

I was in my car shortly after lunch today and glanced in front of me and saw a gangly women walking towards her vehicle in the lot that my work is very near to. Basically, it is just separated by a plot of grass and curb that extends the length of the lot. She opened her vehicle door and proceeded to light up a cig; I'm sure my last post shed some light on how I think smokers are such intelligent people. I also noticed that she had a small plastic bag with what appeared to be a can of some sort within it. She proceeds to smoke like a chimenea and then out from the bag emerges a SLIM FAST. Unbelievable! This science project, female skelator-looking individual was sippin' on some SLIM FAST in one hand and a cig in the other...Sheesh. Some people never cease to amaze me. I suppose the cig allowed for more of a suppression of her appetite and the SLIM FAST allowed expression of more "gangly-ness" for whatever reason...Interesting. And, by interesting, I mean this women seemed to be not too concerned with health in any form.....

Cancer Alley at Comerica Park

L and I went to the Tigers vs Rangers game yesterday afternoon. M stayed with the in-laws and all was good and well. L has not been out of the house for more than a few minutes for the last month. The day was nice. We had nose bleed seats, but at least I can now say that I have been to the uppermost row in the Palace and Comerica Park...Ford Field is next...There really is not a bad seat in either place, but for $10 tickets, you cannot expect to see the perspiration on the players. It was a work outing and there was good company so the complaints are super-minimal.

The one thing we did complain about was after the game. We decided to take a different way out of the stadium just for shats & giggles. It is basically a series of cement ramps that many of the vendors would push up and down carts of food or other things. Many people took that way down towards the end of the game as we did. Anyway, we get down to ground level and there were like 80 people smoking various cancer sticks and watching several monitors of the game still in progress. This way out of the stadium is basically outdoors, but the GREAT WALL of CARCINOGEN almost knocked L and I out. Sheesh man! Since we were kind of at a standstill for a few minutes, our lungs had no choice but to breathe that crap in for a few seconds since much of the time was just holding our breath. We kept just looking at all the nicotine fiends and just shaking our heads as they just shortened their lives with each inhale. At one point, I said louder than a whisper, "What is this? Cancer Alley or something." To which, I received a few dirty looks and just shook my head and kept walking out of there. It's nice to know that a portion of my paycheck will be going to the care of many of these smokers in the future as they rot in a hospital bed... Smoking stinks!

Just because...

I will probably have nightmares tonight...

This is not your father's Segway

Here you have the new all-terrain version of the ultra-geeky, two-wheeled machine. The x2 features cross-terrain tires, a wider track and higher ground clearance. It's equipped with protective fenders with built-in lift handles. The x2 has a top speed of 12.5 mph and can travel up to 12 miles on a single charge of its lithium-ion batteries.

This can all be yours in Sept. for $5,500; a bit too steep for me, but Christmas is not too far away if anyone would like to know something to buy me. :p

On this trip to the deli....

There is a local specialty store that we frequent just about every weekend to get deli meats/cheeses, Italian bread, rapini, olives or the occasional Euro confection. Anyway, this place has been in business for a pretty long time. It's family owned and super-authentic in the decor, food and just about everything. Well, I went in to get some deli items and the older lady that was helping me was someone I am familiar with and we just did some small talk and I was watching this new chick interact with some of the other workers. I may be going out on a limb, but I can confidently say this chick may be working at a deli, but did NOT grow up eating authentic deli meats/cheeses and the only exposure to another food culture outide of hot dogs and fast food was in this store and she was pretty much blonde hair, blue eyes and clueless. Not that blondes are not cultured because every culture has blondes within it, but this chick fell out of the American Gothic painting. Ok, let me just cut the crap...she was a WHITE CHICK (who was true to the stereotype). Anyway, the chick was trying to look busy and was actually sipping coffee in a mug and setting it on top of the deli counter. That is unheard of in a deli setting...at least this one since they are really clean and pissing off an old ethnic person will easily get you ripped a new one should they feel you are tarnishing their imported prosciutto or anything like that. So, this chick had her plastic gloves on and did a benign (outside of a deli, of course) wiping of her nostril and minutes later put three fingers in her hair to place several strands behind her ear. Soon after that, an elderly Italian man approaches the counter and requests a pound of bacon. Blondie leans into the deli cooler (curved glass case so that customers can see and request items) and proceeds to grab a lb of bacon with her hair marinated hand and weighs it up for the gentleman. I am screaming inside since just before the man arrived to the counter, she asked me if she could get me anything while the lady was slicing some of my meats/cheeses. I declined her assistance since I figured her out very quickly with the whole coffee mug on the counter issue before. The older lady helping me finished up my several items and I was on my way out and once again just small talking with one of the owners and his grandson. I told them that if Blondie would have done what she did to me, I would have refused my items and requested someone else handle it correctly. I had confirmed to them what they had heard several times within the week (she was only at the job one week) with the greatest example they told me about being that a woman ordered a lb and a half of salami and Blondie decides to just stack the sliced meat rather than layer and place wax paper betwixt each row of meat as is down for EVERY other meat. One of the greatest things about this place is how they slice and package the deli items.

She probably will not be there when I go next weekend.

Flying was fun......in the past

Here we go again. I am sure everyone has heard the news about the foiled terror plot in the UK and the recent ban on all "beverages, shampoo, sun tan lotion, creams, toothpaste, hair gel, and other items of similar consistency."

I remember a nicer time when getting on a plane was actually fun. Don't get me wrong in that being safe should be a major priority, but it makes one feel a sense of nostalgia.

I'm sure the future will not be better... :(

Ridiculous Product of the day

For your next rave (or early 90s party making fun of raves), this glove-like device features five different colored beams of light, a black light, and strobe light. Twenty different pre-programmed light show patterns make entertainment effortless or hackers can mod it to sync with the song of their choice.

If you love this, get it here.

If you see me walking down the street with two of these things on, drop-kick me.

Party all the time....

We had a lil party last night and M made a card for me, but how? Her mama must have had a hand in this.....The plot thickens..........


...and here, you have Dom and Chiara (w/her quasi-mohawk that would even make Becks proud):

Velcro kicks....

Foot fashion can be a risk sometimes, but this is certainly not one of those instances with these kicks. The last Velcro-equipped sneaks I had were some Roos (Kangaroos to the uninitiated) as a kid that I could swear made me run faster.

Although these Asics have not too much in common with running, you won't be given a citation from the Fashion Police should you sport them.....I still would have to see them in person before a purchase since I am really selective about shoes...

The next chapter has begun....

So far, so good. Plenty-o-pics have been snapped, but I need TIME to properly display and decide which ones to upload. I'm working on the birth announcement pics with L and should decide within the next week or two which pics to use.

Ask me how much REAL sleep I have had since the beginning of this week and I will guarantee you that anyone reading this blog has slept more at work than I have actually slept being away from work...It's fine though. The progeny has been eating very well and filling diapers like a champion (if anyone even knows of a champion who could/would fill diapers). Most say she resembles her papi, but we all know how offspring change from week to week. Those temporary tats on my forearm were pretty accurate to my own thin/ski-like locomotion apparatuses. They also dropped her footprints on the newspaper for that day. Quick thinking by the nurse for some souvenirs right after the birth. I know, I know...they do it for everyone, but I have to inject some of that self-absorbed mentality that new parents boast about thinking their experiences and child are the most unique situation known to man...LOL!

In all seriousness, I have seen many child birth deliveries, but seeing my own was more amazing than words can attempt to describe. The wave of emotions is probably the most intense aspect of the entire process......and that is coming from someone who is not actually delivering the baby because if that were the case, I am sure I'd be able to say that there were physical components of the delivery process never before experienced. L did excellent though. She did not scream one time. Not that I expected it, but I have heard the screams of women delivering children and a joke that is not...Her labor time was 5hrs. Not bad at all according to the doc. She has gotten MUCH less sleep than myself, but I suppose that is the mama genes kicking into full gear. Each day, my nerves are becoming slightly more adjusted to this new addition and I am really amazed each time I sneak a peak at this niñita. She is quite the chuleria en pote if I must say so myself....

If you need a hero...

The Hoff is all you require.

As if this grand thespian needs an intro. He is the magnificent actor of the 80's starring in one of the greatest shows of all time--KR and slam dunking that role like a frikkin champion.

Then, in the 90's, Baywatch grips the emotions of the dozens of us who shared in the adventures of Mitch Buchannon (yes, The Hoff) and the swimsuit-clad honeys.

To not mention this ambassador in the context of European pop music culture would be a mistake of epic proportions.

Give credit where credit is due and Don't Hassel the Hoff.

Oh.........the French.

That's a pretty scary piece of.......Nessie, aka The Loch Ness Monster or something.......

Two faced.......

For some reason, this rare (1 in 80 million) lobster pic reminds me of one of the famous Batman villains....Also, the guy holding that lobster seems to have regenerated like 19 fingers on his one hand... :p

New Look

Just because...Any thoughts? Yay/Nay?

Too many questions....Waaaay too many questions!!

I needed to stop by the bank today to take care of some bidness and today's episode goes a little something like this.

Me: Walk in and ask teller a question and get told that I must speak with a "relationship banker" because they are the only ones who can help me. Ok. Fine. I have a seat where I am told to sit and wait....for 2-3min after signing in.

Relationship Banker (RB): Walks over to the clipboard and says "Hello" to me and proceeds to look around the bank and then back at me and says, "Are you Joe?"

Me: No, but I am Josue' Diaz; I was the ONLY person sitting there at this time.

RB: Joe?

Me: No, Josue'.

RB: Uh, ok. Let's go over to my desk.

Me: Disgusted look on my face and having a sense my simple request is going to turn into a mess.

RB: Asked me 2 basic questions related to my request.

Me: Answers them without an issue.

RB: What do you do?

Me: bla bla bla

RB: How long have you been doing bla bla bla?

Me: bla bla bla

RB: What do you do? Yes, it was the SAME question AGAIN!!!

Me: bla bla bla (same response)

RB: How long have you been married? Yes. She asked me that question. The hag was old enough to be my mother, so it was not a setup to find my status or anything like that. I would never be into dating my mother's age bracket anyway, but that's a post for another day...

Me: Am I the topic of the book you are writing today? Honestly, I asked her that question because I had had enough of the silly questions just to pass the time.

RB: My computer is slow today and I am just making conversation because of this.

Me: I understand, but I am content to stay on topic with what you are helping me with. The answers to your questions do nothing for the situation I came here for and add no value.

RB: Ok. The weather has been pretty nice lately.

Me: Yes it has....


Seriously, I wanted to smash my own head in with that hag's keyboard because she just really bothered me with all the dumb questions (I did not even mention all of them) and the fact that she brushed off my name and had me going in circles for my own request because she did not know her job. It's situations like that that make me nervous to think a "Relationship Banker" like that hag tries to be has access to thousands and thousands of OTHER people's money........

Lettuce in a Garden

The title of this post reminds me of that Snakes movie that comes out in August...

Ok, I admit that it's a slow news day or I am just not motivated to bare my soul in the blogosphere today.....


This is the last of four heads of lettuce that were in my garden and I suppose I had the feeling of screaming at the lettuce pre-consumption or maybe I felt as though it was attacking me or some form of laser hidden within the core of the lettuce would melt my tongue...Ok, that's all for now...

Thinking Caps Optional?

First Kobayashi, now this guy. This week is getting better and better!!!

53.75 Dogs in 12 Minutes

The Fourth would not be complete without the International Nathan's Hot Dog Eating competition held in Coney Island, Brooklyn. Japan's Takeru Kobayashi beat his competitors and took home the top prize for the 6th time. 25,000 people watched as he devoured nearly 54 dogs in 12 minutes breaking the World record that he set.

This guy is an absolute beast! I have seen a story on him and how he "trains" for these competitive eating contests....

They should test for HGH and the "juice" or "the clear" because dude cannot even be contained.....

Desk Lamp 1.0

Costing a mere $4.99, the Grono Table Lamp works like a darkness eliminating champion...The CFLB (Compact Fluorescent Light Bulb) almost cost as much as the lamp...

Your life is just not that interesting to me.....Really.

Let me set the scene for you mind's eye. Two days ago, there was a slow leak in the passenger rear tire of one of the cars thanks to a shard of metal that mysteriously got lodged betwixt one of the treads. Well, this was noticed before work and I threw on the spare (of course, it was NOT a full sized spare) and knew I had to get the leaking tire patched with the quickness. I headed over to one of my favorite places for all things rims and tires--Discount Tire. There were two people ahead of me when I got there and I felt I was there early enough that I would not be late for work. Anyway, I tell them what my situation is and I walk over to the waiting area and some dude is on his phone talking louder than I felt he should have been, therefore, I decided to just hang around the area in which I could look through the glass and see them working on vehicles. Everyone was working. I should be out of there in no time...Ok, I decided that I wanted to read the newspaper and I walked over to where the toolbox was still on his phone talking for all the store to hear...Sheesh, this loser was talking about details of his life that were just embarrassing and he was not the least bit concerned that anyone would hear. For example, I heard this clown say, "Yeah man, I got busted last weekend on the boat. The cop said it would be 6 points instead of 2 since I was given the ticket for BUI (Boating Under the Influence ) instead of DUI (Driving Under the Influence)." What a friggin loser. He was probably in his late 30's and worked for a sprinkler company. I wonder how many jobs this clown botched up....Anyway, he went on to say within his cell convo, "Are you going to the party over the Fourth of July? I know what's her name's cousin will be there and her friend works for the court and I bet she can help me out with the ticket because I cannot afford anymore points." How could anyone just broadcast some ish like that for the world to hear and not be totally ashamed? The psychology involved with cell phone use can be interesting. I kind of parallel it with people who pick their noses in their cars (sans tinted windows) and they think no one can see them.....